bobby michael richardson
orgbob at webtv.net
"my haiku tend to be more epigrammatic and offer commentary, often ironic, on the world or universe at large. which is not to say one approach is better than the other, but merely different --"
View all posts by bobby michael richardson
bobby,
no offense taken at all. it seems as though
you may be offended by the scent of your
resistance to a sensible edit. first of all,
it’s a given that rain falls in “drops”
so in the name of brevity, “drops” should
be cleaved. secondly, “upon” reeks of 18th
century english poetry, it’s an antiquated word.
again, in the name of brevity another syllable
(up) can be cleaved. smile bob, we’re on candid camera!
prado,
i’d think (edit) would suffice.
all raindrops do not fall, well eventually i’d think. i’ve seen raindrops flying sideway, even being swept upward, some seemingly never landing; but in the interest of discussion, as the raindrops were falling, some fell(landed) upon the rose as others landed elsewhere. then, there are the sheets of rain.
“scent of resistance”, prado, are you making this up.
in my past comments, you’ll see i love antiquated words(meanings)
bobby,
first. i do exist and have for the past 44
years. i do not have a computer so i use
the address to get my messages across. i
discovered tiny words a month ago. as i perused
the poems, i noticed your comments, and found them to be the only worthwhile remarks. i too
am verbose, and i enjoy a good debate. have found
you to be a worthy opponent. i mean this as a
compliment.
high noon
goofy and his shadow
duel at disneyworld
bobby,
wasn’t trying to stifle you on the other
poating. was joking around. kinda thought
the plug might be pulled like it was on
the ketoacidosis / ketosis debate. as for
the direction of haiku, who knows? art
is so subjective, whats avante and cutting
for some is banal and boring to others.
levon
lookout mountain
a wedge of blue
widens in the cloudy sky
levon, i tried responding to your response, it was returned as being (undeliverable), for all i had to say; i’ll place my ending haiku, and make mention i bear no malice
seen cross the distance
grandfather mountain–
even in the dark
rain drops–
hitting the buttercup
by chance
rain
the shy woman runs to
collect her clothes
rain shower
spring mornings remembered —
tears falling
spring rain
avoiding the worms
on the hopscotch squares
afternoon rain
laura tells luke
“it’s over.”
rain pelting
the dusty road–
exploding rain drops
ninety days of rain
can’t forget
… years ago
well the replies look like a laundry list, but I like your haiku.
Gene
grey drizzle —
a yellow rose bobbing
petals down
Deborah P Kolodji
Tinywords 05-20-03
http://www.tinywords.com/haiku/2003/05/20/
nursing my coffee cup
i look out in the rain
its soft drizzle
triggers the memories
of our happy days
crumpled red rose
falling from her hand
his last letter
–
not bad, but needs an edit…
rain falls
on the yellow rose…
my gaze
much cleaner this way.
morning crows
we bicker over
a burnt slice of toast
feel free to critique my haiku bobby.
prado
prado,
you’ve turned what was to be a boring evening into a delightful one, for this, i must thank you.
“edit” perhaps you meant, break it down, in order for you to understand.
my words at least caused you to think.
prado, i will read your work, are you taking offence(offense) to what i’m saying because it’s different from your opinion.
NOW, that’s very sad.
think about it.
bobby,
no offense taken at all. it seems as though
you may be offended by the scent of your
resistance to a sensible edit. first of all,
it’s a given that rain falls in “drops”
so in the name of brevity, “drops” should
be cleaved. secondly, “upon” reeks of 18th
century english poetry, it’s an antiquated word.
again, in the name of brevity another syllable
(up) can be cleaved. smile bob, we’re on candid camera!
lol
prado,
i’d think (edit) would suffice.
all raindrops do not fall, well eventually i’d think. i’ve seen raindrops flying sideway, even being swept upward, some seemingly never landing; but in the interest of discussion, as the raindrops were falling, some fell(landed) upon the rose as others landed elsewhere. then, there are the sheets of rain.
“scent of resistance”, prado, are you making this up.
in my past comments, you’ll see i love antiquated words(meanings)
bobby,
first. i do exist and have for the past 44
years. i do not have a computer so i use
the address to get my messages across. i
discovered tiny words a month ago. as i perused
the poems, i noticed your comments, and found them to be the only worthwhile remarks. i too
am verbose, and i enjoy a good debate. have found
you to be a worthy opponent. i mean this as a
compliment.
high noon
goofy and his shadow
duel at disneyworld
bobby,
wasn’t trying to stifle you on the other
poating. was joking around. kinda thought
the plug might be pulled like it was on
the ketoacidosis / ketosis debate. as for
the direction of haiku, who knows? art
is so subjective, whats avante and cutting
for some is banal and boring to others.
levon
lookout mountain
a wedge of blue
widens in the cloudy sky
levon, i tried responding to your response, it was returned as being (undeliverable), for all i had to say; i’ll place my ending haiku, and make mention i bear no malice
seen cross the distance
grandfather mountain–
even in the dark
my words, once again, were too many.