Don Miller lives in southern New Mexico, USA. He has been writing tanka since the early 1980s, and has had his tanka, tanka sequences, tanka prose, and other short-form poetry published on a somewhat regular basis in various print and online journals since the early 2000s.
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j., i’m in agreement with you; encompassing my thoughts for some previous haiku(s). in don’s haiku, i felt the setting was brilliant; though much of what could have been said was left unobserved, seemingly sterile.
–
quizzical murder of crows–
question asked
others answer
I find this poem wonderfully fascinating because of its ambiguity. On one reading, the thunder is in the distance; on my next reading, the whistle is. Couple this with the contrasts of the two sounds when one is distance, and then when the other is distant. And then there are comparisons of the sounds etc. I have explored about six moments here. Good job, Don!
the teakettle whistles…
after my apology
2 nice haikus, Don and Anthony! I love Autumn and the whistle of teakettles, as well as trains. Brought back a lot of nostalgia.
~David Fox
This seems like a relatively common haiku; I feel the poem doesn’t really convey what makes the moment special.
j., i’m in agreement with you; encompassing my thoughts for some previous haiku(s). in don’s haiku, i felt the setting was brilliant; though much of what could have been said was left unobserved, seemingly sterile.
–
quizzical murder of crows–
question asked
others answer
I find this poem wonderfully fascinating because of its ambiguity. On one reading, the thunder is in the distance; on my next reading, the whistle is. Couple this with the contrasts of the two sounds when one is distance, and then when the other is distant. And then there are comparisons of the sounds etc. I have explored about six moments here. Good job, Don!
That’s the thing about haiku, it doesn’t have to work with everybody, but when it does work for someone, they get so much from it! ;-)
Don Miller’s haiku:
autumn thunder
in the distance
a train whistle
That pivot line is a neat technique because it also works on as a run-on too, giving an extra pivotal meaning. ;-)
alan and ed, true, everyone (never) appreciate the same haiku.
a haiku nicety, don’t simply list observations.
there’s more to the thunder and/or the whistle than a befalling and their being pivotal…
–
the 2:10 train whistle
out of the darkness–
thunder
–
funny, at this late hour, i hear a train whistle in the distance, accompanied by the yelps of my neighbor’s dog…