soft breeze–
a glimpse
of her thigh
Published by
Mike Farley
I live with my wife Shirlee on a cattle ranch near the little ski town of Red Lodge, Montana, and have been loving and writing haiku for several years now. I draw my inspiration from the images of the high-plains, mountains, weather, wildlife, livestock, ranch work and outdoor recreation which surround me daily.
View all posts by Mike Farley
I liked this. Very short and cheeky. ;-)
Mike, I love this.
Delicious, indeed.
Nice job.
Troy
Hey, very nice…with a sensual tingle. Good work, Mike.
Ha! Nice one, Mike. I love it.
Ah, those soft breezes.;-)
A nice one, MIke. Very enjoyable.
Thank you wonderful friends.
Mike . . . a wonderful poem! But, in your list of things that inspire you, how come there’s no mention of thighs?
Well, I don’t know. I guess I hadn’t thought it thru that completely. I love the differences between men and women, such as the instantaneous and erotic attraction a man feels at a momentary glimpse of a female thigh. I guess I’ve thought of such things as being universal among poets and not needing special mention alongside the more unique features of my rural environment that inspire my haiku.
Erotic glimpses are rare in ranch life. Very personal and seldom shared. But , treasured forever. Thanks for sharing Mike. Now, it’s different down at the Snow Creek Saloon in Redlodge. What you see there, you just leave there.
Darrell Byrd
That’s certainly true as well.
On second reading, my haiku is actually a pretty lame “cause-and-effect” ku which clumsily attempts to tell us all “why” we’re getting that glimpse.
Perhaps a better L1 might be
rustling leaves . . .
a glimpse
of her thigh
in which the breeze appears wordlessly between the lines and better allows the reader his own experience.
It seems I’ve been there before, Mike, but I couldn’t record it as skilfully as you did.
You managed to halt time just for that erotic-precious moment.
Congrats and greetings,
RaV
ah, michael, a toast to the softer things in life.
i oftentimes say, “showing me less, gives rise to my imagination”
–
spring journey’s end
her eyes
meeting mine
Michael,
I must concur with you regarding your revision, ’tis far superior.
And, for you, a slightly more wordy seventeen syllabic regarding a “rustle”:
new lovers embrace
eclipsing the eclipsing
silver moon above
Yes indeed, the revision is lovely. I didn’t like the first version at all. The “eroticism” seemed forced, gratuitous, & a little “fresh,” or insulting — but not at all erotic, from this woman’s viewpoint. The revised version is truly erotic, for both sexes. Good work! May all your revisions be equally successful.
nice job mike..
but with a stiff breeze,
we get the whole damn thing
being the fly in the ointment, once more, mike i didn’t read it as being “causal and effect”; more, a protection of vision, and happening to see some thigh. even with ellipsis, the revised version epitomizes.
georgia, i cuddled your woman’s point of view; until i read, “the revised version being more acceptable to ‘both sexes’ “.
fault with the original; depends how one’s mind is led.
O Mr. Richardson, you are such a nice romancer. Nevertheless, I must say that I like my fellows to know that “epitomize” is a transitive verb and thus requires at least one object. Say hello to your friend, Agnes for me. It seems that she would be much more to your liking. So good-bye.
Agatha
agatha, this evening i tire; why such a paltry comment, however you did say i was “nice”, thanks.
Dear Mr. Richardson, if trying to understand you is a paltry matter from your point of view, then why should I care? You said, “… the revised version epitomizes.”
I was wondering what it epitomizes. The verb needs an object. What does the revised version epitomize?
You may answer in the morning. It is past my bedtime.
Agatha
good morning agatha,
within any verb, that part of speech whose essential function is to express existence, action, or occurrence, some immediate understanding exist(for some).
akin to the haiku, for the intellect certain things can be surmised.
–
epitomizes: to make abstract, to typify, or even to make a summary
¿agatha, in my usage, can you see any of these meanings without an (object)?
In a word, young man, no! Go to the “One Look Dictionary Search” (www.onelook.com/)and type in “epitomize” and read from 18 different dictionaries. Note that the definitions often end with “of,” meaning the object is missing. Most definitions say transitive verb. Some say “followed by an object.” You are misreading. It is not to “make” abstract, but to abstract (object). These are my last comments
in remembrance of my kindergarten reader:
fun with dick and jane
see spot
see spot run
–
well, agatha, heaven forbid these being my last comments.
are you that easily led by anything you read. somewhere along life’s road, surely by now, you should know these rules were not written in concrete…
agatha, i almost forgot puff, the yellow kitten, and sally, tim, mother, and father…
mike,
either way an effective “glimpse.”
ms. nipplewort, couldn’t you have come
up with a better pseudonym than nipplewort?
prado
Mr. Chekov or is it Ensign Chekov, you’re like the pot calling the kettle black. Prado Chekov sounds like a museum in a meadow outside Moscow.
And I am not “the kettle” either. I admit, my family did change its name in the 1550s from Nipplewyrt.
For starters, you should ask Ms Merriweather, Ms Applebottom, and the Prisswillow sisters about pseudonyms. Indeed!
Agatha
The only other semi-erotic haiku I’ve experienced and felt inspired to write …
spring storm–
the warm spot where
the dental nurse leans
poetic sisters
numerous
sharing
Hi Mike. This reminds me of “23, skidoo”, where gentlemen used to stand on 23rd street in Manhattan hoping for breezes generated by the skyscrapers. Skirts would be lifted, and policemen used to tell the gathered gawkers “skidoo!” (Scram, get outta here!). Haha. Some things never change. Best, Michele
Goodnight, sweet prince.
The cowboy poet sleeps for now…