It’s great to see such a well-crafted ice-cream haiku: that “licking the line” is a very effective start to the second line, with a well chosen end word “between“.
By having twilight instead of a summer afternoon, you have also added an extra depth, and layers.
And to end it all, it’s just a darn good short poem!
All I can say is I wish I had written it. What a great poem!! And just yesterday I purchase chocolate/vanilla swirl frozen yogart. Again, a great poem!
Congratulations on a terrific achievement in such a short piece. A true rendition of what haiku is all about. Wonderful emotion and exquisite imagery! Brilliant.
Hannah
It’s great to see such a well-crafted ice-cream haiku: that “licking the line” is a very effective start to the second line, with a well chosen end word “between“.
By having twilight instead of a summer afternoon, you have also added an extra depth, and layers.
And to end it all, it’s just a darn good short poem!
Great haiku!
It will stay with me.
Delightful and wonderfully written! Thanks for the double treat. :-)
Hi Tracy,
What a delightful little poem you’ve crafted!
Great work!
_kala
All I can say is I wish I had written it. What a great poem!! And just yesterday I purchase chocolate/vanilla swirl frozen yogart. Again, a great poem!
Yvonne
yeah, a very good haiku!
a haiku full of taste!
taste of chocolate and vanilla…
taste of the moment!
Absolutely delicious! But who said anything about ice cream?
I, too, feel that it is extremely well written and wish that I had written it.
Congratulations on a terrific achievement in such a short piece. A true rendition of what haiku is all about. Wonderful emotion and exquisite imagery! Brilliant.
Hannah
Ah, yes, I remember it well.
Such a lovely, lyrical haiku—the imagery is so fresh and evocative.
Hi Tracy,
this is a wonderful moment —
congrats on your win!
twilight-
thirsting memories
quenched by spring rain
Haha! Yummy little Ku, well suited to the season. Thanks Tracy! michele