I love the image, which the sentiments in the poem do a nice job of reflecting. One suggestion I would offer, and that is: because we can clearly see that it is daytime in the photo, there is no need to repeat that idea in the poem. You could simply leave “blue autumn” (an intriguing phrase as-is) to stand on its own in L3. As I’d imagine “the need to be needed” is a feeling which extends 24/7, this also would allow the poem expand beyond the picture as well.
Dear Debbie, Michael, Andrea, Autumn, Gregory, and Alma, Thank you all for taking the time to leave a response about my haiga…I appreciate your kind words so much. Sincerely, Mimi
October 11th, 2024 at 8:16 am
so much expressed here
October 11th, 2024 at 8:22 am
I agree with Alma. The haiga begins with a simple blue wheelbarrow and the the poem. Great depth in this haiga, Mimi.
October 11th, 2024 at 10:19 am
I love the image, which the sentiments in the poem do a nice job of reflecting. One suggestion I would offer, and that is: because we can clearly see that it is daytime in the photo, there is no need to repeat that idea in the poem. You could simply leave “blue autumn” (an intriguing phrase as-is) to stand on its own in L3. As I’d imagine “the need to be needed” is a feeling which extends 24/7, this also would allow the poem expand beyond the picture as well.
the need
to be needed
blue autumn
October 11th, 2024 at 1:06 pm
Good haiga! I really enjoyed it…
October 11th, 2024 at 1:57 pm
This is fantastic!
October 11th, 2024 at 5:50 pm
I keep coming back to this! Wonderful job, Mimi!
October 11th, 2024 at 7:45 pm
Dear Debbie, Michael, Andrea, Autumn, Gregory, and Alma, Thank you all for taking the time to leave a response about my haiga…I appreciate your kind words so much. Sincerely, Mimi