the shape
of my sadness
like a cloud drifting
fraying, taking form again
oh, but I love this life

 

 

(red lights Vol. 9, No. 2)


6 Responses

  1. harrisfr Says:

    Yes, even those of us who believe in heaven don't want to die to get there.

  2. Marilyn Hazelton Says:

    The poem, as I experienced it, is about life within this life. The first four lines are about the grief I feel still 12 years later for the loss of my son, Matt, and others in my family. The last line was a weak attempt at resolving the grief for that moment. I picked up a candle that my youngest son, Patrick, and his now husband, gave my husband and I for Christmas last year. And the last line here jolted its way into my heart. I am honored to have this poem appear on tinywords.

  3. kizijogos Says:

    I really like how you created the story. A poet really need more than emotion. If you look really, any deposition sentences are becoming very real. I really like you!

  4. Alistair McBride Says:

    Thank you Marilyn – you offer an image that speaks to my grief still raw from my wife's death. And I find your last line strong, not weak, as indeed we reach into life for that which we need to carry us on. Oh, indeed I love this life!

  5. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Very striking. The description of sadness 'like a cloud drifting, fraying, taking form again' aptly describes how this emotion keeps returning, again and again.

    marion

  6. Alan Summers Says:

    the shape
    of my sadness
    like a cloud drifting
    fraying, taking form again
    oh, but I love this life

    Beautiful turn around in the last line. Wonderful tanka.

    warm regards,

    Alan

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