The poem, as I experienced it, is about life within this life. The first four lines are about the grief I feel still 12 years later for the loss of my son, Matt, and others in my family. The last line was a weak attempt at resolving the grief for that moment. I picked up a candle that my youngest son, Patrick, and his now husband, gave my husband and I for Christmas last year. And the last line here jolted its way into my heart. I am honored to have this poem appear on tinywords.
I really like how you created the story. A poet really need more than emotion. If you look really, any deposition sentences are becoming very real. I really like you!
Thank you Marilyn – you offer an image that speaks to my grief still raw from my wife's death. And I find your last line strong, not weak, as indeed we reach into life for that which we need to carry us on. Oh, indeed I love this life!
Very striking. The description of sadness 'like a cloud drifting, fraying, taking form again' aptly describes how this emotion keeps returning, again and again.
December 10th, 2013 at 10:52 am
Yes, even those of us who believe in heaven don't want to die to get there.
December 10th, 2013 at 3:46 pm
The poem, as I experienced it, is about life within this life. The first four lines are about the grief I feel still 12 years later for the loss of my son, Matt, and others in my family. The last line was a weak attempt at resolving the grief for that moment. I picked up a candle that my youngest son, Patrick, and his now husband, gave my husband and I for Christmas last year. And the last line here jolted its way into my heart. I am honored to have this poem appear on tinywords.
December 11th, 2013 at 3:39 am
I really like how you created the story. A poet really need more than emotion. If you look really, any deposition sentences are becoming very real. I really like you!
December 12th, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Thank you Marilyn – you offer an image that speaks to my grief still raw from my wife's death. And I find your last line strong, not weak, as indeed we reach into life for that which we need to carry us on. Oh, indeed I love this life!
December 13th, 2013 at 1:51 am
Very striking. The description of sadness 'like a cloud drifting, fraying, taking form again' aptly describes how this emotion keeps returning, again and again.
marion
December 18th, 2013 at 11:02 am
the shape
of my sadness
like a cloud drifting
fraying, taking form again
oh, but I love this life
Beautiful turn around in the last line. Wonderful tanka.
warm regards,
Alan