cloud shadows on the highway scudding a h e a d

 


9 Responses

  1. Shrikaanth K Murthy Says:

    Good one Dave

  2. harrisfr Says:

    Thank You!

  3. daveserjeant Says:

    Thank you Shrikaanth.

  4. Alan Summers Says:

    Great sense of movement in this haiku:

    cloud shadows on the highway scudding a h e a d

    The spreading out of ahead gives another level.

    warm regards,

    Alan

    cloud mountain
    she screams her daughter's name
    into the month of march

    Alan Summers
    Anthology Credit: Air BHS Anthology (British Haiku Society Members’ Anthology, 2012)
    Brass Bell "Alan Summers Spotlight" July 2015

  5. daveserjeant Says:

    Hi Alan. Thanks for the comments. I think the original had the a and the d spaced even further, so I either submitted the wrong version or the hard spacing didn't work online. No matter.

  6. Alan Summers Says:

    The great thing is that the haiku is strong enough without relying on the concrete poem aspect in the last word.

    It's still cool! :-)

    warm regards,

    Alan

  7. Magyar Says:

    Clouds; streak across this horizon; full sail.

  8. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Very effective!

    marion

  9. Lamart Cooper Says:

    There is a fine sense of balance in this one line haiku. An enjoyable read!

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