a butterfly pair
follows the young couple
along the boardwalk
Published by
Curtis Dunlap
My name is Curtis Dunlap. I'm a webmaster by trade but aspire to be a better haiku poet. I live in Mayodan, NC (where the Mayo and the Dan rivers meet). I've been married almost 20 years to my wife Jane. We have three children and one crazy dog.
Web site: haiku and haibun from tobacco road
View all posts by Curtis Dunlap
7 thoughts on “”
I like the comparison of the butterflies to the young couple. Each gains from the other, especially in season. However, I prefer a haiku with a strong break, and this reads as one sentence.
I’ve been married 30 years and like this poem, as the butterfly is a symbol of new life, of the way love needs to be renewed to last. A poem of blessing. I remember being the young couple, but like middle-age much better! I also think the poem needs a little more work, since it reads like a sentence. I have a lot of work “resting” now and trust I’ll know what to do later on. Or something will occur to me when I’m thinking about something else…
I wonder if you lived in Japan in 1969 and were in Mrs. Story’s class at ASIJ (American School in Japan). If so, please contact me. My email is bspeaks1@comcast.net.
I like the comparison of the butterflies to the young couple. Each gains from the other, especially in season. However, I prefer a haiku with a strong break, and this reads as one sentence.
i am amazed at the addition of the words “a” and “the” and what they can do to an otherwise great haiku.
case in point:
along boardwalk
butterfly pair…
follows young couple
great job, curtis, in capturing the moment.
yeah-but who cares?
Hi Curtis,
I’ve been married 30 years and like this poem, as the butterfly is a symbol of new life, of the way love needs to be renewed to last. A poem of blessing. I remember being the young couple, but like middle-age much better! I also think the poem needs a little more work, since it reads like a sentence. I have a lot of work “resting” now and trust I’ll know what to do later on. Or something will occur to me when I’m thinking about something else…
Best wishes to you and your family, Ellen
flower garden
all that buzz
and colourful dancers
Hi Curtis,
I wonder if you lived in Japan in 1969 and were in Mrs. Story’s class at ASIJ (American School in Japan). If so, please contact me. My email is bspeaks1@comcast.net.
Brad
day’s beginning
duck and brood of ten …
alone, i walk