This is an interesting poem (although the shape is a bit jarring). A street sweeper revives memories of a summer rain through the same wet pavement smell. An original, and surprising pairing!
i, too, pondered your structuring.
i read this piece several times, thinking i should leave well enough alone, however it beckoned me, akin to that first sip of cooling water on an arid day, to make some form of comment;
would a little more condensation have worked as well.
case in point:
street sweeper…
showering pavement
fragrance, summer rain
This is an interesting poem (although the shape is a bit jarring). A street sweeper revives memories of a summer rain through the same wet pavement smell. An original, and surprising pairing!
debi, another haiku moment has been captured.
i, too, pondered your structuring.
i read this piece several times, thinking i should leave well enough alone, however it beckoned me, akin to that first sip of cooling water on an arid day, to make some form of comment;
would a little more condensation have worked as well.
case in point:
street sweeper…
showering pavement
fragrance, summer rain
no
debi, since you have had time to re-evaluate your position, possibly you have changed your answer…
no
“no”, was her response; not once, but twice
debi, what are you trying to say
are you dissenting
exactly, what is your “no” representing
is this a refusal
or perchance, of my words, you are a peruser
what if, instead, i’d asked her for a dance
“no…”
floral scent
after the noon rain
my inching libido
summer morn
sweeping her door steps …
shower fresh, fragrance