i have always been of the frame of mind, if one makes a suggestion, then one feels something could have been does better
from bob’s book of rules, number 14…
bill, your piece is nice
however, it could have been nicer, for me, if it had gone along these lines:
lifeguard’s whistle…
red pennant
snapping in the breeze
i feel the whistle would have been the first attention getter, this being because i live in a beach area, where one’s attention is divided by God’s gift to man…
Very nice work.A lot to think about given all the many possibilities and the sound of the whistle.Makes you sit up and take notice. Well done.
Well balanced. It seems to come together effortlessly, to form a perfect, and memorable beach moment. Thanks.
i have always been of the frame of mind, if one makes a suggestion, then one feels something could have been does better
from bob’s book of rules, number 14…
bill, your piece is nice
however, it could have been nicer, for me, if it had gone along these lines:
lifeguard’s whistle…
red pennant
snapping in the breeze
i feel the whistle would have been the first attention getter, this being because i live in a beach area, where one’s attention is divided by God’s gift to man…
promotion
he talks and walks
in boss’s style
around midnight –
rumbling locomotive
accelerating
–