from across the crowded dining table her laughter
Published by
gK
gK is a member of the Southern California Haiku Study Group. Besides writing haiku, senryu, and tanka, gK also writes science fiction haiku (also known as scifaiku), and is a moderator for the scifaiku mailing list at Yahoo! Groups. View all posts by gK
The laughter’s motion is well illustrated in the text, and my discovery (every haiku should have a discovery) of that single voice in the crowd is delightful.
Enjoyed this one much, gK. The single line works here especially well.
I like this a lot too, gK. My only (small) criticism would be about the extra space before ‘her laughter’; <imho>it just seems like a(n almost?) subliminal (read ‘cheaty’) way of adding a break. And it works perfectly well without it </imho>
And…
gk, i read, reread, read again, and reviewed your one liner. at first, because of my nature for things being as they are, i struggled with it.
my thinking of (prepositions) and their usage, a battle raged within.
HOWEVER, i placed my (self) at the table, and participated in the meal and conversing; then there it was, i understood where you were coming “FROM”; how my attention was gotten by the laughter.
very good
gk, i, then, understood your perception
recess
her laughter
from the crowd
out of the pitch-black darkness a light
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