dead birds at the base
of the lit skyscraper
Issue 10.3 | 1 December 2010
I don't know why but it reminds me of my friend Yu Yan Chen when she witnessed 911 and lost a friend to that attack.
Setting that aside, I really like the musicality of this haiku, and the fact it isn't a minimalist haiku or a format fragment and phrase/phrase and fragment haiku.
Looking forward to seeing more of your work on tinywords! ;-)
Alan, With Words
I too like that it is not minimalist, and I like the image and the evocations of the image, but 'lit' bothers me. It seems to scan to abruptly, like a caesura. How about 'bright', which would in addition raise the anti in terms of irony.
in the columns of light
a flock of birds
car top guano
canadian geese cross the Hudson
Martin, I think it's fair to warn people that the link you posted is to a PDF of an epidemiology research paper!
Your'e right and thank you!
hurrying home from the Nutcracker
hoping the mice in the walls
have magically disappeared
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