Very clever – I like the way you have stretched the first and third lines and shortened the middle one, to give a steady beat of 6 syllables each line. It has the effect of slowing the poem, and capturing in poetic rhythm the summer experience you describe.
very nice, Kaylyssa
Very clever – I like the way you have stretched the first and third lines and shortened the middle one, to give a steady beat of 6 syllables each line. It has the effect of slowing the poem, and capturing in poetic rhythm the summer experience you describe.
Nice rhythm of words, bat and ball. Brings back Little League memories… :-)
Wonderful capture of baseball in haiku, I think both Shiki and Cor van den Heuvel would appreciate this.
Alan
This has really captured a dreamy, hazy moment of summer.
marion