skywriting all the disappearing words between us
(Second Place, 17th International Kusamakura Haiku Competition)
Published by
Margaret Dornaus
Margaret Dornaus holds an M.F.A. in literary translation from the University of Arkansas, where she received the Lily Peters Poetry Translation Award as well as being twice nominated for an Associated Writing Program essay-writing award. Winner of the Tanka Society of America's 2011 International Tanka Contest, her tanka, haiku and haibun have appeared in numerous anthologies and journals, including: A Hundred Gourds; Atlas Poetica; Modern Haiku; Moonbathing; red lights; Ribbons; and others. Her first book of poems, Prayer for the Dead: Collected Haibun & Tanka Prose, received a 2017 Merit Book Award from the Haiku Society of America. View all posts by Margaret Dornaus
If my pen
were a plane
my poems
would fly
lovely and moving
Thank you, Bruce, for your kind comment.
A lovely poem and well deserving of that prize, Margaret.
I particularly like the horizontal format of this work which makes the reading so much more ambiguous,and creates for me a sense of "not quite grasping" the sentence, or of my interpretations fading and shifting and blowing between readings – so capturing in a verse the visual effect most of us know of how skywritten words disappear. Brilliant.
My own past efforts at single line ku have been rather mediocre, but I'll make another attempt inspired by your poem, Margaret:
departing flight contrails icicles lingering
Strider
Thank you, Strider, for such a thoughtful response to my poem . . .
Congrats. Maggie! Lovely poem and worthy winner!
Thank you, Sanjukta!
skywriting all the disappearing words between us
—Margaret Dornaus
Second Place, 17th International Kusamakura Haiku Competition
A fine internal comparison, while watching a plane create words actual or imaginary words. The fading contrails echo either the lack of conversation, and communication, between the couple over the years as they drift apart, or that perhaps they know each other so well, they can enjoy each other's company without the need to constantly break into words.
Wonderful.
Alan, With Words
Thank you, Alan.
All best to you, Maggie
i like how this can take the reader in many directions, from funny to poignant.
well done.
Thank you, Polona
Fantastic, Maggie! Well deserved. :)
marion
Thank you, Marion. Love your haiku in the new Frogpond!
Thank you! :)