Nighthawks
tonight her breathing’s more shallow. i try to find her favorite songs. search quickly on my iPad. “mack the knife ” by Bobby; replays of Vera’s, “we’ll meet again.” but mostly i just talk and she listens. eyes glued shut in coma-land..well past morning i kiss her rice-paper face. stroke her white hair. a voice is crying, calling mama, mama. a word back from dead. executed in the land of assimilation. just after noon mama curls in fetal position. i keep watch: rise and fall of out-of-breath beats. too soon it comes. ebb tide.
autumn coolness
enters a hand
long held in mine
December 9th, 2013 at 8:36 am
Most poignant, Roberta.
_kala
December 9th, 2013 at 9:02 am
Very moving.
warmest regards, and condolences,
Alan
December 9th, 2013 at 9:23 am
well written. Such difficult circumstances; I'm glad the protagonist of the poem could be at that place and time. Sending thoughts of good tea and warmth ….
December 9th, 2013 at 9:27 am
Wow!
expresses excitement of
written words in the here and now
Dawn
memories each day after
bring only sighs for those now gone
December 9th, 2013 at 9:30 am
This is a deeply heart-felt haibun during a difficult time for you . . .
December 9th, 2013 at 9:46 am
Very beautiful & moving, Roberta. Reminds me so much of my own mother's death. My deepest sympathy to you.
December 9th, 2013 at 11:24 am
A few days ago, a dear old friend called to tell me his throat cancer that was thought to be under control had actually returned and moved on to his lungs and liver. He told me he has maybe six months of life remaining. So this poem speaks to my own desperation relative to his sickness. All of our lives, we have shared moments and thoughts and feelings. It is so hard for me to believe that he will leave ahead me. And the fact that he is an extraordinary human soul seems to make it so much harder. I consider this poem an on-time gift. Thank you so very much.
December 9th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
I'll echo Alan Summers' comments and those of several others about how moving this is. Anyone who's had to deal with people, especially parents and children, who are no longer here but not yet gone, can feel this. And now they're gone but still here somehow…
Condolences.
December 9th, 2013 at 3:09 pm
Yes, I think people are still with us because they are a part of us. I don't think this ever changes, even after they die. Love remains. Memories are heart-felt. These are gifts that I don't really discuss, yet they are certainly real. I count myself lucky to have them.
December 9th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
So beautifully personal for so many.
December 9th, 2013 at 3:15 pm
Stunning writing Roberta… so keenly felt and written we can't help but be transported to that time and place with you and to feel your pain… Ron
December 10th, 2013 at 3:20 am
This is a scene I've lived. I know this pain like many others here do.Would like to say so many things, but…can I just say "sorry" and beautifully written!
December 10th, 2013 at 10:37 am
having recently had a similar experience, this hits close to home. a strong and moving write.
December 10th, 2013 at 11:09 am
Very poignant indeed, Roberta.
December 11th, 2013 at 4:19 pm
thank you for each thoughtful comment, means a lot to me. thanks also to tinywords.com for publishing Nighthawks. to all this holiday season: keep writing and keep moving forward!
December 12th, 2013 at 7:40 pm
here here . . . to moving forward. Thank you Roberta. Peace to you and yours.
December 11th, 2013 at 9:57 pm
A wonderful piece of writing. A little over a year ago I sat by my husband's bedside as he died. In 1997 I sat by my own mother's. So it speaks profoundly to me too.
December 14th, 2013 at 4:15 am
Ah Roberta, thank you for sharing this. From such sadness you have crafted a genuine epitaph – a living shrine. To read this poignant haibun is to share indeed with the loss, but also to share the genuine love. Out of the melancholy sabi which is so delicately captured and shared with us, there is nevertheless a sense of living-on. The spirit of that beloved one will live forever, called up even for strangers, who as they are touched by this work, feel compelled to pay sincere respects.
Blessings
Strider
December 16th, 2013 at 4:23 am
Indeed, the ups and downs of life are staggering. Can not know in advance. So you should enjoy and not fought
December 4th, 2014 at 5:28 pm
one year since I wrote this. one year since my mom died. thank you all for your comments. this haibun will appear in my book Deflection which I wrote as part of my grieving process (Accents Publishing, March 2015)
April 24th, 2015 at 3:30 am
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April 24th, 2015 at 3:31 am
I know this pain like many others here do.Would like to say so many things, but…can I just say "sorry" and beautifully written! thank so much
August 20th, 2015 at 1:34 am
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September 3rd, 2015 at 4:01 am
When I read your words, I feel sad… I need to show my love to my parents more and more. Thanks for your post
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October 7th, 2016 at 12:19 am
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January 10th, 2020 at 12:02 pm
Not much has changed in the 6+ years since I wrote this, as far as the pain of loss.
November 23rd, 2020 at 9:39 pm
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April 11th, 2023 at 6:35 pm
Dear Roberta,
I’m writing an (amateur) song about dementia for my friend who recently lost her Mum, for private use.
May I borrow the essence of your beautiful final stanza (coolness/long held) and acknowledge you in the copyright?
It’s not yet recorded, only a draft exists so far.
I hope to have an audio sample on file that you could review by the end of 2023.
Thanks for considering,
Jillian Khouchaba
Sydney, AUS