up to look down at the Blue Nile Falls, the mist rising into the camera?s frame
rheumy eyes calculating the price of my guilt
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Bob Lucky
Bob Lucky lives in Portugal. His work has appeared and is forthcoming in various journals including Modern Haiku, tinywords, Rattle, MacQueen?s Quarterly, Presence, The Haibun Journal, and others. He's the author of Ethiopian Time (Red Bird Chapbooks), Conversation Starters in a Language No One Speaks (SurVision Books), My Theology (Cyberwit) and What I Say to You (proletariat.org).
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Up/ down, calculating/ mist, the price of guilt…this poem thrills me with its dynamism
love it!
evening mist
confronted by the toll
of chapel bells
Love the understated perspective presented here. Quite subtle. Re-reading it you can see the downcast eyes of the tourist taking photos of the waterfall contrasted with the upturned eyes of the peasant child whose rheumy eyes suggest a hidden wisdom (calculating). The whole poem reads deeper suggesting to me that the the river itself with its mist filling the frame is also offering its own emotion. A slow awareness of what the scene actually is. Nicely captured.
Thanks to everyone for their comments. I was attempting to do everything Peter Newton said. I think he said it better than I ‘captured’ it.