I am a great admirer of your haiku, Mark! Here again you leave me in awe.
For a start – I love your horizontal construction of the work, which is both a visual and physical recreation of the horizon, from which the sun is beginning to rise, the bed itself, and also the position I imagine (and remember) myself wanting to remain in on a chilly morning.
But the word "cold" also arouses other emotions. Memories of cold nights after an argument, sleeping on opposite edges of the bed. And it is "daybreak" – a hard word, unlike the optimism and warmth of "dawn". With the break of day, will the relationship stay broken, like her heart? Or can it be rekindled? So much left perfectly unsaid…
April 14th, 2014 at 8:42 am
A chilling steal-cold moment!
April 14th, 2014 at 1:22 pm
Great contrast. And so appropriate for a Monday morning!
April 15th, 2014 at 6:38 am
Thank you Theresa!
April 15th, 2014 at 6:38 am
Thank you!
April 15th, 2014 at 1:16 am
The play on 'break' is clever. :)
marion
April 15th, 2014 at 6:35 am
Thank you Marion!
April 15th, 2014 at 2:43 am
Nice & inspiring. I'm currently starting with my own poems, so its nice to get some inspirations :-).
April 15th, 2014 at 6:37 am
Thank you Anna and good luck with your poetic endeavors…
April 25th, 2014 at 12:40 am
I am a great admirer of your haiku, Mark! Here again you leave me in awe.
For a start – I love your horizontal construction of the work, which is both a visual and physical recreation of the horizon, from which the sun is beginning to rise, the bed itself, and also the position I imagine (and remember) myself wanting to remain in on a chilly morning.
But the word "cold" also arouses other emotions. Memories of cold nights after an argument, sleeping on opposite edges of the bed. And it is "daybreak" – a hard word, unlike the optimism and warmth of "dawn". With the break of day, will the relationship stay broken, like her heart? Or can it be rekindled? So much left perfectly unsaid…
Raw and real. Haiku at its modern best
Many thanks for sharing this, Mark
Strider
May 28th, 2014 at 9:13 am
Thank you very much Strider…I appreciate the support