Incredibly poignant tanka, Roger.
Quite apart from the beautiful sabi content, I am struck by how you have worked the rhythm in this poem. The first 3 lines begin with what appear to be a recovery from shock – 6 syllables, 4 syllables and an almost funereal finality in the 3 syllables in line 3 – "dead four years-" But then the poem opens again into the naturalness of conversation. The effect is uplifting and joyful.
Truly moving and powerful, Roger. Thank you for sharing.
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May 12th, 2014 at 10:11 am
Very poignant. This struck a chord with me. I often find cards from my mom, now deceased four years ago, tucked away in drawers. Yes, that rain…
May 12th, 2014 at 10:13 am
extremely moving
May 12th, 2014 at 10:25 am
Hauntingly beautiful. I, too, have known that rain.
May 12th, 2014 at 10:59 am
So subtle and understated. And movingly beautiful.
May 12th, 2014 at 11:22 am
Lightly done. Excellent work.
warm regards,
Alan
May 12th, 2014 at 2:41 pm
Powerful.
May 13th, 2014 at 9:52 am
Striking! I think the ordinariness of the last line in contrast with death is what makes it so.
marion
May 13th, 2014 at 7:42 pm
Incredibly poignant tanka, Roger.
Quite apart from the beautiful sabi content, I am struck by how you have worked the rhythm in this poem. The first 3 lines begin with what appear to be a recovery from shock – 6 syllables, 4 syllables and an almost funereal finality in the 3 syllables in line 3 – "dead four years-" But then the poem opens again into the naturalness of conversation. The effect is uplifting and joyful.
Truly moving and powerful, Roger. Thank you for sharing.
Strider
May 14th, 2014 at 2:42 am
Absolutely beautiful!
May 15th, 2014 at 1:47 am
Thanks, everyone, for the wonderful feedback! RJ
May 15th, 2014 at 4:21 pm
Poignant!
August 28th, 2015 at 8:55 am
The subject selection in studies would be the significant guiding basic principle with beneficial educational system. The genuine students are given all information on all subjects. The students discover the site as indicated by their qualities as well hobbies. The best number of subject chooses the full life.
November 29th, 2016 at 6:56 am
Now I start to gain experience. I am looking forward for more updates!