Alan, this is topical here in North Texas.
Lots of news footage and year-after survival stories on the 12 plus tornadoes that hit.
Biggest was an F4 and on the ground in Rowlett four more than 4 minutes. Several have rebuilt or patched together their lives, more have not.
Effective use of form, and that dangle-behind “e”.
Jan
Recognised this as a concrete poem but tornadoes didn’t come to mind. I saw the ku as a plume of rising smoke and the name of Aleppo. No doubt a sign of a good poem is its capacity for differing interpretations.
I like the way the juxt of this ku sits between its linear information content and unorthodox shape. I felt compelled to read a cut/juxt after ‘here’ despite there being no obvious indicator. Was this meant deliberately as a way of illustrating the narrator’s sense of disbelief at seeing the disruption or destruction of the world as they know it?
How interesting, Alan – perhaps it's because we don't get tornadoes here in Ireland, but I read this as the narrator walking down an old, familiar path that eventually disappears because it is now overgrown. It worked for me with that reading, but I like the fact that it's tornado-shaped even more! :)
December 28th, 2016 at 8:53 am
For me, this catches both an experience and the feeling that goes with it. Well done. Bill K
more dead-end streets
than I remembered . . .
my home town
December 28th, 2016 at 9:13 am
Lovely! Yes . . .
December 28th, 2016 at 9:18 am
Very nice.
December 28th, 2016 at 9:38 am
Wow!
Truly a lovely haiku, Alan
Congratulations!
December 28th, 2016 at 10:36 am
Love this, and I love chief276's haiku in response.
December 28th, 2016 at 10:59 am
Very, very nice indeed.
I like both typographic displays, but my first choice is the one on the website here with the final "e" a space back.
December 28th, 2016 at 11:20 am
Alan, this is topical here in North Texas.
Lots of news footage and year-after survival stories on the 12 plus tornadoes that hit.
Biggest was an F4 and on the ground in Rowlett four more than 4 minutes. Several have rebuilt or patched together their lives, more have not.
Effective use of form, and that dangle-behind “e”.
Jan
December 28th, 2016 at 1:22 pm
Terrific …
December 28th, 2016 at 1:30 pm
It took a second before I realized it was a tornado-shaped poem.
December 28th, 2016 at 4:06 pm
An elegant concrete haiku, Alan.
I think Carlos Colon would have appreciated this one.
Did you know he was a fan of your work?
December 28th, 2016 at 6:20 pm
Thanks. I was lucky enough to meet Carlos as we checked out of the hotel at the HSA meeting in Schenectady last year.
December 29th, 2016 at 8:44 am
Recognised this as a concrete poem but tornadoes didn’t come to mind. I saw the ku as a plume of rising smoke and the name of Aleppo. No doubt a sign of a good poem is its capacity for differing interpretations.
I like the way the juxt of this ku sits between its linear information content and unorthodox shape. I felt compelled to read a cut/juxt after ‘here’ despite there being no obvious indicator. Was this meant deliberately as a way of illustrating the narrator’s sense of disbelief at seeing the disruption or destruction of the world as they know it?
Nice haiku, Se?or Bridges.
January 6th, 2017 at 2:53 am
How interesting, Alan – perhaps it's because we don't get tornadoes here in Ireland, but I read this as the narrator walking down an old, familiar path that eventually disappears because it is now overgrown. It worked for me with that reading, but I like the fact that it's tornado-shaped even more! :)
marion
April 17th, 2017 at 2:20 am
I love!…I think Carlos Colon would have appreciated this one.