Wonderful use of a technical poetry term of stressed and unstressed syllables capturing the movement of a train. And perhaps the stressed (and unstressed) syllables of conversations that commuters make.
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sun off stubble a train in its landscape
Alan Summers
otata 4 (April, 2016) ed. John Martone
April 25th, 2018 at 9:12 am
Accurate observing.
May I add a seasonal touch?
commuting to work
the iambs of trains
in spring rains
April 25th, 2018 at 9:25 am
I found the “iamb of trains” very beautiful…thanks for sharing..
Anitha
April 25th, 2018 at 4:09 pm
I love this!
April 25th, 2018 at 9:13 pm
A beautiful monoku. The word phrase 'iambs of trains' is unique and fresh. The haiku reflects the busy life of a common man.
floating clouds birds fly the other way
Pravat Kumar Padhy
Publication Credit: brass bell: a haiku journal, July 2014
April 28th, 2018 at 5:15 am
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commuting to work the iambs of trains
—ALAN S. BRIDGES
Wonderful use of a technical poetry term of stressed and unstressed syllables capturing the movement of a train. And perhaps the stressed (and unstressed) syllables of conversations that commuters make.
.
.
sun off stubble a train in its landscape
Alan Summers
otata 4 (April, 2016) ed. John Martone
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May 3rd, 2018 at 1:21 am
And of course the monoku sounds just like a train when read aloud!
Simply brilliant, Alan.
marion