commuting to work the iambs of trains

6 Responses

  1. William Ramsey Says:

    Accurate observing.

    May I add a seasonal touch?

    commuting to work
    the iambs of trains
    in spring rains

  2. Anitha Varma Says:

    I found the “iamb of trains” very beautiful…thanks for sharing..

  3. mpaone Says:

    I love this!

  4. Pravat Says:

    A beautiful monoku. The word phrase 'iambs of trains' is unique and fresh. The haiku reflects the busy life of a common man.

    floating clouds birds fly the other way

    Pravat Kumar Padhy
    Publication Credit: brass bell: a haiku journal, July 2014

  5. Alan Summers Says:

    commuting to work the iambs of trains


    Wonderful use of a technical poetry term of stressed and unstressed syllables capturing the movement of a train. And perhaps the stressed (and unstressed) syllables of conversations that commuters make.

    sun off stubble a train in its landscape

    Alan Summers
    otata 4 (April, 2016) ed. John Martone


  6. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    And of course the monoku sounds just like a train when read aloud!

    Simply brilliant, Alan.


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