Perhaps it’s a sign that I watch too many police procedurals, but with the words “body” and “outline” in the same line, I can’t help but see a chalk outline around a murder victim. Which makes the word “dawn” take on the meaning of a wake-up call and the line "follow’s mine" conjure up both guilt and responsibility.
I could interpret this entire senryu through the lens of the Black Lives Matter protests—the way the systemic racism inherent in our society is beginning to dawn on us, the chalk outlined bodies of all the victims of police brutality, the haunting feeling that goes with each of us as culpable members of a society which allows such violence to continue unchecked.
I could even see the image as representative of a pair of hands held out to be cuffed–or in prayer.
Very thought provoking at the present moment, even if such an interpretation was not the poet’s intent.
Thank you all for your nice responses – everyone from his own different world.
I am glad I inspired you, Magyar for a new haiku. I was surprised from your point of you, Autumn, but it is good
that everyone has his vision, depending of his “filter”.
July 24th, 2020 at 6:17 am
Very beautiful, touching and gentle.
July 24th, 2020 at 7:31 am
Lovely! Such tenderness . . .
July 24th, 2020 at 7:37 am
Beautiful!
July 24th, 2020 at 8:29 am
Grand vision Tanya_!
__ That rich shadow… your senryu… had generated this echo! _m
sunset joined
these shadows stroll together
hand in hand
July 24th, 2020 at 8:42 am
A lovely combination of word and image!
July 24th, 2020 at 12:07 pm
Perhaps it’s a sign that I watch too many police procedurals, but with the words “body” and “outline” in the same line, I can’t help but see a chalk outline around a murder victim. Which makes the word “dawn” take on the meaning of a wake-up call and the line "follow’s mine" conjure up both guilt and responsibility.
I could interpret this entire senryu through the lens of the Black Lives Matter protests—the way the systemic racism inherent in our society is beginning to dawn on us, the chalk outlined bodies of all the victims of police brutality, the haunting feeling that goes with each of us as culpable members of a society which allows such violence to continue unchecked.
I could even see the image as representative of a pair of hands held out to be cuffed–or in prayer.
Very thought provoking at the present moment, even if such an interpretation was not the poet’s intent.
~Autumn
July 24th, 2020 at 12:14 pm
dusk
fitting my own body
to the chalk outline
I try to feel what it is
to stand in your skin
~Autumn
July 25th, 2020 at 7:08 am
Thank you all for your nice responses – everyone from his own different world.
I am glad I inspired you, Magyar for a new haiku. I was surprised from your point of you, Autumn, but it is good
that everyone has his vision, depending of his “filter”.
July 26th, 2020 at 5:56 am
Very evocative – LOVE this!