dawn  your body's outline  follow's mine

your body’s outline
follows mine

9 Responses

  1. Bruce Feingold Says:

    Very beautiful, touching and gentle.

  2. Marilyn hazelton Says:

    Lovely! Such tenderness . . .

  3. loneheron Says:


  4. Magyar Says:

    Grand vision Tanya_!
    __ That rich shadow… your senryu… had generated this echo! _m

    sunset joined
    these shadows stroll together
    hand in hand

  5. Annette Makino Says:

    A lovely combination of word and image!

  6. Autumn Noelle Hall Says:

    Perhaps it’s a sign that I watch too many police procedurals, but with the words “body” and “outline” in the same line, I can’t help but see a chalk outline around a murder victim. Which makes the word “dawn” take on the meaning of a wake-up call and the line "follow’s mine" conjure up both guilt and responsibility.

    I could interpret this entire senryu through the lens of the Black Lives Matter protests—the way the systemic racism inherent in our society is beginning to dawn on us, the chalk outlined bodies of all the victims of police brutality, the haunting feeling that goes with each of us as culpable members of a society which allows such violence to continue unchecked.

    I could even see the image as representative of a pair of hands held out to be cuffed–or in prayer.

    Very thought provoking at the present moment, even if such an interpretation was not the poet’s intent.


  7. Autumn Noelle Hall Says:

    fitting my own body
    to the chalk outline
    I try to feel what it is
    to stand in your skin


  8. Tanya Dikova Says:

    Thank you all for your nice responses – everyone from his own different world.
    I am glad I inspired you, Magyar for a new haiku. I was surprised from your point of you, Autumn, but it is good
    that everyone has his vision, depending of his “filter”.

  9. Jeff Hoagland Says:

    Very evocative – LOVE this!

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