heat shimmer
a dog by the roadside
licks a broken tap
—Padma Rajeswari
A wonderful and powerful yet subtle and poignant haiku.
I feel we have really been "called to the page"
The placement of the two indefinite articles [a] is superbly judged. A great example of how to use articles [a, the] beyond just their grammatical use, lending purposeful nuances.
Interesting. Giving even an indefinite article [a] to a 'mere' dog gives this animal more credence than, possibly, the poet intended?
We forget in this era of global warming and heightened temperatures that it is not only humans who suffer. I would hope that all human beings and all creatures have access to some sort of water source, and maybe this is what Padma is stating. Wastage of water, so prevalent in the West, is utilized by a desperate animal making the most of circumstances.
We surely have been "called to the page" by this haiku.
I'm often fascinated, whenever we are in "the zone" with our writing, where almost out of nowhere a single word might appear, as well as a stronger choice of arranged words, where that one small change makes for a bigger poem, is conscious or sub-consciously brought out of our lexicon of grammatical and creative knowledge.
There is a balance in many haiku where we must make a decision either to be 'reserved' and write a functional haiku, or come out of our "haiku shell" at least a little; where a certain sometimes "counter-intuitive" way of approaching a line, can all come together.
That zone is where magic can happen, where alchemy can dwell, though not always guaranteed of course, but 'might just come together' like quicksilver. Aren't we all looking for the touchstone of a single word (even if it appears to be mundane) that "switches up" our poem.
This zone or 'writing trance' when writing, or even if we are sharply lucid and conscious, can be an act of "how or if" we include certain words, or 'unexpected but tautly and startlingly effective phrasing', which could change that haiku poem from just being an ordinary but competent short verse or stanza, to a gem that sings inside the reader if they choose to enter the verse as an explorer, and dwell inside for a while, maybe even just a few seconds longer than a rapid six seconds reader through.
That's where "The Haiku Reader" comes alive, being rewarded.
Alan
Alan Summers
founder, Call of the Page
editor, The Haiku Reader anthology
Understood.
Alan, I was attempting to make a social comment rather than a technical haiku comment.
Maybe we need Padma to explain. What does your "call to the page" mean if it does not alert us to the current dreadful state of affairs in global warming disasters? That's the way I read Padma's poem.
Warmly,
Ingrid
If we look at how haiku really got going, it was just before Japan entered WWII, tackling the brave stance of criticising that decision. So I feel automatically that many haiku from then on could contain a social conscience, and a warning.
I don't feel anyone can laugh off climate change unless they are intending to deliberate misdirect the public.
I've long said that haiku are perfect for being placed in public places for any climate or social issue, as they can be so memorable.
July 6th, 2022 at 9:16 am
heat shimmer
a dog by the roadside
licks a broken tap
—Padma Rajeswari
A wonderful and powerful yet subtle and poignant haiku.
I feel we have really been "called to the page"
The placement of the two indefinite articles [a] is superbly judged. A great example of how to use articles [a, the] beyond just their grammatical use, lending purposeful nuances.
warm regards,
Alan
Alan Summers
founder, Call of the Page
July 6th, 2022 at 11:15 am
Interesting. Giving even an indefinite article [a] to a 'mere' dog gives this animal more credence than, possibly, the poet intended?
We forget in this era of global warming and heightened temperatures that it is not only humans who suffer. I would hope that all human beings and all creatures have access to some sort of water source, and maybe this is what Padma is stating. Wastage of water, so prevalent in the West, is utilized by a desperate animal making the most of circumstances.
We surely have been "called to the page" by this haiku.
July 7th, 2022 at 3:21 am
Hi Ingrid,
I'm often fascinated, whenever we are in "the zone" with our writing, where almost out of nowhere a single word might appear, as well as a stronger choice of arranged words, where that one small change makes for a bigger poem, is conscious or sub-consciously brought out of our lexicon of grammatical and creative knowledge.
There is a balance in many haiku where we must make a decision either to be 'reserved' and write a functional haiku, or come out of our "haiku shell" at least a little; where a certain sometimes "counter-intuitive" way of approaching a line, can all come together.
That zone is where magic can happen, where alchemy can dwell, though not always guaranteed of course, but 'might just come together' like quicksilver. Aren't we all looking for the touchstone of a single word (even if it appears to be mundane) that "switches up" our poem.
This zone or 'writing trance' when writing, or even if we are sharply lucid and conscious, can be an act of "how or if" we include certain words, or 'unexpected but tautly and startlingly effective phrasing', which could change that haiku poem from just being an ordinary but competent short verse or stanza, to a gem that sings inside the reader if they choose to enter the verse as an explorer, and dwell inside for a while, maybe even just a few seconds longer than a rapid six seconds reader through.
That's where "The Haiku Reader" comes alive, being rewarded.
Alan
Alan Summers
founder, Call of the Page
editor, The Haiku Reader anthology
July 7th, 2022 at 9:39 am
Understood.
Alan, I was attempting to make a social comment rather than a technical haiku comment.
Maybe we need Padma to explain. What does your "call to the page" mean if it does not alert us to the current dreadful state of affairs in global warming disasters? That's the way I read Padma's poem.
Warmly,
Ingrid
July 7th, 2022 at 10:15 am
Hi Ingrid,
Your original comment was a catalyst and inspiration to say something about the writing process and the 'zone'. Thank you!
warmest regards,
Alan
July 7th, 2022 at 10:39 am
If we look at how haiku really got going, it was just before Japan entered WWII, tackling the brave stance of criticising that decision. So I feel automatically that many haiku from then on could contain a social conscience, and a warning.
I don't feel anyone can laugh off climate change unless they are intending to deliberate misdirect the public.
I've long said that haiku are perfect for being placed in public places for any climate or social issue, as they can be so memorable.
warm regards,
Ala