I find the prolonged and integrated sounds of rain and pen so audible, so apt. Yet there is contrast, too, between the steadiness of rain and the frustration suggested by repeated pen-clicking. Such possibilities of interpretation! Thank you.
The haiku wonderfully generates a pent up feeling for me – impatience, anxiety, maybe obsessiveness. I admire the haiku craft in the repetitive use of the words rain/again to stimulate our experience and like Jan said the contrast between rain (nature) and human nature works well.
Nicely done!
Ah, yes, so many of us click our pens for various reasons, and sometimes third parties become involved…
.
all my mistakes
each click of the pen
the robin moves
Alan Summers
Publications credits:
Earlier version Presence #24 (2004)
earlier version ; "D'un ciel a l'autre" Anthologie de haiku de l'Union Europeenne, (Edition de l'Association francaise de haiku 2006)
Seven By Twenty twitter-length fiction and poetry (March 2011)
Charlotte Digregorio's Writer's Blog Daily Haiku, July 13, 2015
The (European) robin is very much a Christmas seasonal reference in Britain and Ireland and a Winter reference in general, not just poetic, as it's mostly the robin that sings through Winter while others become silent.
.
May 5th, 2016 at 10:01 am
all day rain
my plugged-up fountain
runneth over
.
:-)
May 5th, 2016 at 10:25 am
winter chill
up half the night
with a leaking pen
(The Mainichi Daily News, 21st March 2012)
May 5th, 2016 at 9:09 pm
I find the prolonged and integrated sounds of rain and pen so audible, so apt. Yet there is contrast, too, between the steadiness of rain and the frustration suggested by repeated pen-clicking. Such possibilities of interpretation! Thank you.
May 5th, 2016 at 10:06 pm
The haiku wonderfully generates a pent up feeling for me – impatience, anxiety, maybe obsessiveness. I admire the haiku craft in the repetitive use of the words rain/again to stimulate our experience and like Jan said the contrast between rain (nature) and human nature works well.
Nicely done!
May 6th, 2016 at 10:57 am
.
all day rain
clicking my pen again
and again
—BRAD BENNETT
Ah, yes, so many of us click our pens for various reasons, and sometimes third parties become involved…
.
all my mistakes
each click of the pen
the robin moves
Alan Summers
Publications credits:
Earlier version Presence #24 (2004)
earlier version ; "D'un ciel a l'autre" Anthologie de haiku de l'Union Europeenne, (Edition de l'Association francaise de haiku 2006)
Seven By Twenty twitter-length fiction and poetry (March 2011)
Charlotte Digregorio's Writer's Blog Daily Haiku, July 13, 2015
The (European) robin is very much a Christmas seasonal reference in Britain and Ireland and a Winter reference in general, not just poetic, as it's mostly the robin that sings through Winter while others become silent.
.
May 16th, 2016 at 6:32 pm
all day rain The haiku wonderfully generates a pent up feeling for me
May 23rd, 2016 at 4:15 am
Great use of sound!
marion
May 23rd, 2016 at 6:28 am
It's raining outside and the writer's mind runneth dry? Just "clicking my pen again
and again".
Lovely sound.
July 13th, 2017 at 2:52 am
all day rain
my plugged-up fountain
runneth over