This is so clever, Ann. I particularly like the way you have structured the verse.
The breaks in the lines give an air of breathlessness – reminding me of my child self bursting (or "tearing-in") through the flyscreen door at home on hot summer evenings, and being scolded by parents who were afraid I would let in mozzies. And of course, I recall all too painfully the fact that sometimes such exuberant entry resulted in a torn screen, and ended in "tears".
Thank you for the memories!
fresh tears
her new summer dress
torn by the screen door
Wonderful haiku, by itself, and also how it relates to Ann Schwader's haiku.
I like a good HOMOGRAPH and this poem:
fresh tear
in the screen door
summer arrives
remains open to the reader which is vital.
Of course we must presume it's a small rip in the screen door, perhaps the door wasn't respected in colder seasons.
I wonder if it's a biting insect that 'announces' the arrival of Summer.
Excellent work allowing a reader to expand within the poem.
Alan, With Words
aww, the memories this one brings back!
I too like the way it suggests rather than spells out … and somehow makes me smile in instant response even so.
itching rheums
runny nose all day
monsoon
–R.K.Singh
This is so clever, Ann. I particularly like the way you have structured the verse.
The breaks in the lines give an air of breathlessness – reminding me of my child self bursting (or "tearing-in") through the flyscreen door at home on hot summer evenings, and being scolded by parents who were afraid I would let in mozzies. And of course, I recall all too painfully the fact that sometimes such exuberant entry resulted in a torn screen, and ended in "tears".
Thank you for the memories!
Strider
hermes