A nice sense of mystery, even intrigue, as the reader will wish for an idea about the clues left around a late night talk, and did it start in the daylight, or evening?
I like it when a haiku isn't just a snapshot, something should always be left out, left aside.
This haiku resonates beyond its words, and allows the reader to become a creative partner.
We've all had them–those "serious talk[s]" with a friend or loved one that go long into the night. Hopes and dreams are expressed; deeply-held beliefs and deeply-buried fears are revealed. You feel euphoric, ecstatic, drunk with words. In the magic of the wee hours, the usual barriers to communication are temporarily lifted. There is no gap between what you think and what you say, what they hear and what you mean. You are filled with language and filled with life. But then the morning comes. And in the light of day, you doubt the experience of the night before. Was I really able to articulate everything in my heart? Did they really and truly understand? Words then seem hopelessly inadequate, and true connection with another human being forever out of reach. In this haiku, the "empty lawn chairs" perfectly convey this. In the words of Flaubert, "Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars."
I see one meaning of "empty." Sometimes though the conversation blesses for a long time. Could be a note or phone call as well. I like the look of empty chairs, even filled with snow in the winter, a peaceful image.
Thanks to Roger Jones for a poem with many layers. I can't know what he was thinking, of course.
This is why I love Tinywords so much! Showcasing wonderful poetry, combined with vigorous and "real time" commentary.
This was how the Japanese masters used to engage in their "poetry parties", each giving a poem then everyone at the table comparing interpretations. Everyone gains, everyone wins! By sharing and engaging in this way, we all deepen our levels of appreciation of a particular work, deepen our emotional intelligence and repertoire, and deepen our understanding of the art of haiku, all while maintaining an engaged and respectful sense of community.
Roger's poem, and the discussion today, reminds me of such a haiku party. The subject of the poem could indeed be the "morning after". I too love the ambiguity of the word "empty" – vacant, or ineffectual? Then the phrase "serious talk" – is it tongue in cheek or was it indeed in earnest at the time? The final line "last night" again contains ambiguity – obviously there is the temporal dimension, but then I read again and pick up the sense of finality, or something finished – the last night of a production. Something like the song from Les Miserables: "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables".
Truly a wonderful poem and a wonderful experience. I am sure, though, that in this case the talk will "go on"!
T i n y w o r d s , an apt subtitle of this site might well be "Poetry In Real Time" where poets remain present and honest with one another.
I love reading all the positive comments about the poem and the choices the poets have made in constructing them. But I would also encourage a poetic response–a riff, if you will, off the poem into one of your own. Sometimes, this happens. Good poems spark good poems.
Of course, any constructive comments are always welcome. I agree, Strider, we are a community of writers. A circle of poets that always has room for one more . . . and another . . . and another . . .
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a lovely comment. Because of it I have found myself another great blog to follow…yours! Thanks again and I love your work…can wait to get to know you.Happy Wednesday!
Dankeschön Und Dank des Quoten-Curlies ist der Curly meiner Freundin jetzt auch hübsch gemacht… Und beim Curly-Treff spielen wir dann einfach die Rolle des Quoten-Tollers… Wahrscheinlich hüpft sie dann von einem zum anderen “Hallo Hallo, Ihr müsst agiler sein, viiieeel agiiiiler! Und quietschen müsst ihr auch…”
It could run for about 0 minutes on a single charge, but it takes hours to completely bill, which is an unbelievably very long time. That alone makes this totally inappropriate
July 12th, 2013 at 8:46 am
I love this haiku. It's full of rueful wisdom presented so lightly.
July 12th, 2013 at 9:01 am
empty lawn chairs
all our serious talk
last night
—Roger Jones
A nice sense of mystery, even intrigue, as the reader will wish for an idea about the clues left around a late night talk, and did it start in the daylight, or evening?
I like it when a haiku isn't just a snapshot, something should always be left out, left aside.
This haiku resonates beyond its words, and allows the reader to become a creative partner.
Wonderful!
Alan, With Words
July 12th, 2013 at 11:19 am
We've all had them–those "serious talk[s]" with a friend or loved one that go long into the night. Hopes and dreams are expressed; deeply-held beliefs and deeply-buried fears are revealed. You feel euphoric, ecstatic, drunk with words. In the magic of the wee hours, the usual barriers to communication are temporarily lifted. There is no gap between what you think and what you say, what they hear and what you mean. You are filled with language and filled with life. But then the morning comes. And in the light of day, you doubt the experience of the night before. Was I really able to articulate everything in my heart? Did they really and truly understand? Words then seem hopelessly inadequate, and true connection with another human being forever out of reach. In this haiku, the "empty lawn chairs" perfectly convey this. In the words of Flaubert, "Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars."
July 12th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
I see one meaning of "empty." Sometimes though the conversation blesses for a long time. Could be a note or phone call as well. I like the look of empty chairs, even filled with snow in the winter, a peaceful image.
Thanks to Roger Jones for a poem with many layers. I can't know what he was thinking, of course.
July 12th, 2013 at 4:45 pm
I love Roger's haiku.
another month gone
moonlight shimmers
on an empty space
(first published on Haiku Bandit Soiety, April Moon Viewing, 2013
July 12th, 2013 at 5:35 pm
This is why I love Tinywords so much! Showcasing wonderful poetry, combined with vigorous and "real time" commentary.
This was how the Japanese masters used to engage in their "poetry parties", each giving a poem then everyone at the table comparing interpretations. Everyone gains, everyone wins! By sharing and engaging in this way, we all deepen our levels of appreciation of a particular work, deepen our emotional intelligence and repertoire, and deepen our understanding of the art of haiku, all while maintaining an engaged and respectful sense of community.
Roger's poem, and the discussion today, reminds me of such a haiku party. The subject of the poem could indeed be the "morning after". I too love the ambiguity of the word "empty" – vacant, or ineffectual? Then the phrase "serious talk" – is it tongue in cheek or was it indeed in earnest at the time? The final line "last night" again contains ambiguity – obviously there is the temporal dimension, but then I read again and pick up the sense of finality, or something finished – the last night of a production. Something like the song from Les Miserables: "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables".
Truly a wonderful poem and a wonderful experience. I am sure, though, that in this case the talk will "go on"!
Strider
July 13th, 2013 at 11:59 am
T i n y w o r d s , an apt subtitle of this site might well be "Poetry In Real Time" where poets remain present and honest with one another.
I love reading all the positive comments about the poem and the choices the poets have made in constructing them. But I would also encourage a poetic response–a riff, if you will, off the poem into one of your own. Sometimes, this happens. Good poems spark good poems.
Of course, any constructive comments are always welcome. I agree, Strider, we are a community of writers. A circle of poets that always has room for one more . . . and another . . . and another . . .
July 13th, 2013 at 2:48 am
sunrise solitude
the eve's pontifications
stilled
July 14th, 2013 at 4:43 am
after the argument
she watches rain fall
on the flower bed
July 15th, 2013 at 9:59 am
a mobile phone
in the half-empty pub
the one-sided conversation
Alan Summers
Publications credits: ‘in a heron’s eye’ Jack Stamm Haiku Award 1999 anthology ISBN 0 9577925 0 6 pub: Paper Wasp, Australia
July 17th, 2013 at 10:15 pm
Beautiful haiku, Roger . . . especially love the image of the empty "lawn chairs."
memorial
so many empty chairs
touched by moonlight
Margaret Dornaus
A Hundred Gourds 1.1, December 2011
July 26th, 2013 at 2:52 pm
Wonderful – I can so relate to this one!
morning after empty bottles and chairs
August 6th, 2013 at 6:24 pm
hermes マテラッセ 財布
September 27th, 2014 at 11:58 am
It’s great to see this useful post on dog training.
I have a question however. How do you train an older dog?
May 27th, 2016 at 3:56 am
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July 8th, 2016 at 7:07 am
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a lovely comment. Because of it I have found myself another great blog to follow…yours! Thanks again and I love your work…can wait to get to know you.Happy Wednesday!
September 9th, 2016 at 8:04 am
Dankeschön Und Dank des Quoten-Curlies ist der Curly meiner Freundin jetzt auch hübsch gemacht… Und beim Curly-Treff spielen wir dann einfach die Rolle des Quoten-Tollers… Wahrscheinlich hüpft sie dann von einem zum anderen “Hallo Hallo, Ihr müsst agiler sein, viiieeel agiiiiler! Und quietschen müsst ihr auch…”
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June 8th, 2018 at 4:35 am
It could run for about 0 minutes on a single charge, but it takes hours to completely bill, which is an unbelievably very long time. That alone makes this totally inappropriate
December 15th, 2018 at 11:41 am
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