Ooroo
As I wait for the evening bus to my hometown, a stray sidles up to me, sniffing with a dusty nose and occasionally brushing it against my jeans. She then settles down on her haunches and continues to gaze soulfully until I melt and treat her to a packet of biscuits. From there on she follows me faithfully till I board the rickety bus for a long journey back to the city I once knew.
mongrel town…
the passing car rattles
a cloud of dust
May 29th, 2014 at 1:37 pm
I'm not exactly a cat lover — but I do love this!
May 30th, 2014 at 4:06 am
:) Thank you Marie for liking the work even though you aren't a cat lover, you may be a bit relieved to know, it's a dog I am talking about!
May 29th, 2014 at 1:51 pm
I thought it was a dog.
May 30th, 2014 at 4:04 am
You got it right Deb, thank you for taking out the time to read and comment.
May 29th, 2014 at 3:49 pm
Break my heart, why doncha?
PS Clearly a dog.
May 30th, 2014 at 4:05 am
:) I am so glad you like the work! Thank you!
May 29th, 2014 at 10:20 pm
Marvelous haibun, Paresh. It is like a reading from Basho's "Records of a Travel Worn Satchel".
I hope more people will be inspired to expand their haiku offerings like this, with such contextual descriptions and settings. It really allows us to meet the poet, instead of always injecting ourselves into the works we read.
And I hope to read more of your work, Paresh.
Strider
May 30th, 2014 at 4:13 am
Dear Strider
I just loved the way you have commented on the work. I am humbled by your comparison with Master Basho's work. I accept it with a feeling of being blessed.
I too like you believe that haibun is a much easier form of writing to absorb and enjoy (haiku does at times gets too cryptic)…
If you would like to read some more of my haibun, you may like to go through the curent and a few past issues (I am quite a neophyte poet) of haibun today, contemporary haibun online, cattails, Prune Juice and Summer 2013 issue of Simply haiku.
Like you, I hope to read some more of your comments, feel free to reach me on my mail id paresh1118@gmail.com
May 30th, 2014 at 3:05 am
Lovely work, Paresh! Loved that ku.
May 30th, 2014 at 4:07 am
Dear Sanjuktaa…thank you for the appreciation and the pat on the back. always look forward to what you think of my works.
May 30th, 2014 at 8:56 am
Wonderful work as always Paresh! :-)
Your story reminded me of the one I had about a one-eyed mangy cat at a Way Station on the way to Uluru, Northern Territory, Australia.
I was the only one to help the cat to some food, and I could tell it wanted to come onto the Greyhound Bus with me, but it wasn't possible.
desertcold
a one-eyed cat
sifts an ashcan
Alan Summers
Publications credits: HI no. 31 (Japan, 1998)
I liked the way you didn't have to state it was a dog, and then alluded back to the town, but with other socio-economic touches with this marvellous haiku:
mongrel town…
the passing car rattles
a cloud of dust
We have visuals, great sound with 'rattles' and sensation through choking dust.
A fantastic haiku, and wonderful haibun! :-)
warm regards,
Alan
.
May 30th, 2014 at 9:15 pm
Wow…Thank you Alan, your comment is more beautiful than the haibun itself. :)
As always you are extremely encouraging with your words. The way you have analysed this small work has made me grow more fond of it.
I loved the story about that one-eyed mangy cat and the resulting haiku, very visual and need for a bit of heat on a cold desert night seems so universal, just like we sift through people, words and experiences for a little glow, a little warmth.
June 24th, 2014 at 8:15 am
Ah, lovely, Paresh! You have created a wonderful moment here.
Until I read the comments I didn't realise that you hadn't used the word 'dog' – although I don't think even a stray cat would let her nose stay dusty for long! :)
marion
July 29th, 2014 at 11:09 am
:) Marion, it just feels so wonderful, when you know your words have touched a chord somewhere, I am thankful you took the time to comment on the work.