after the protest
moonlight on empty
tear-gas canisters
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David Oates
David Oates wrote the books Night of the Potato, Drunken Robins, and Shifting with My Sandwich Hand (the last two of haiku) and is the host of "Wordland" on public radio in Athens, Georgia.
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13 thoughts on “”
a moment of peace . . . reflected in the tools of chaos and violence. well done!!
.
I'm reminded of the brilliant anthology entitled
"A Long Rainy Season: Haiku and Tanka"
(Rock Spring Collection of Japanese Literature)
by Leza Lowitz (Editor), Miyuki Aoyama (Editor), Akemi Tomioka (Editor), Robert Kushner (Illustrator) 1994.
The women wrote about contemporary issues including women's rights and being gassed by the government and police of their country (Japan).
Freedom of speech is under risk again with the recent terror attacks, including one on my own country. We forget that our Western governments often inflame situations so much that extremism occurs both at home and abroad from more than just one religion alas.
.
after the protest
moonlight on empty
tear-gas canisters
—DAVID OATES
I thought your line break was especially intriguing, and powerful, where the second line has:
"moonlight on empty" which raises the resonance of both line one:
"after the protest"
And third/last line:
"tear-gas canisters"
The haiku is subtly brilliant, and I hope this is anthologised by leading haiku anthologists such as Red Moon Press, and wins awards such as The Touchstone Award (The Haiku Foundation) etc…
.
Alan Summers
President, United Haiku and Tanka Society
co-founder, Call of the Page
I'll look for "A Long Rainy Season." I'm curious about something. I've been reading about deliberate practice ("Grit" by Angela Duckworth), and I have started asking serious writers of haiku and related forms what their work patterns are. Would you be willing to share yours?
I like the use of time and space that's made. It's extremely effective.
Like for instance the first line says "after the protest", which means a lot of time has passed since the protest was going on. As of now the protest is over. So it's a change from what things were to what things are and of course reflects on how things will be in future. Thus both elements are in use "Time and space".
"moonlight on empty", which means it's not that the people have gone away. They are still there on the protest site, however, the day is over. Night is in progress and it continues.
"tear-gas canisters" reflects more of a symbol that it was used during protest to make sure things don't get out of control. As far as negotiation and crowd is concerned it does not come into picture.
a moment of peace . . . reflected in the tools of chaos and violence. well done!!
Beautiful, says so much. Thanks.
Thank you.
.
I'm reminded of the brilliant anthology entitled
"A Long Rainy Season: Haiku and Tanka"
(Rock Spring Collection of Japanese Literature)
by Leza Lowitz (Editor), Miyuki Aoyama (Editor), Akemi Tomioka (Editor), Robert Kushner (Illustrator) 1994.
The women wrote about contemporary issues including women's rights and being gassed by the government and police of their country (Japan).
Freedom of speech is under risk again with the recent terror attacks, including one on my own country. We forget that our Western governments often inflame situations so much that extremism occurs both at home and abroad from more than just one religion alas.
.
after the protest
moonlight on empty
tear-gas canisters
—DAVID OATES
I thought your line break was especially intriguing, and powerful, where the second line has:
"moonlight on empty" which raises the resonance of both line one:
"after the protest"
And third/last line:
"tear-gas canisters"
The haiku is subtly brilliant, and I hope this is anthologised by leading haiku anthologists such as Red Moon Press, and wins awards such as The Touchstone Award (The Haiku Foundation) etc…
.
Alan Summers
President, United Haiku and Tanka Society
co-founder, Call of the Page
Thank you , Alan, I appreciate your kind words!
I'll look for "A Long Rainy Season." I'm curious about something. I've been reading about deliberate practice ("Grit" by Angela Duckworth), and I have started asking serious writers of haiku and related forms what their work patterns are. Would you be willing to share yours?
Hi David,
I could put something together. I guess it's so instinctive over the decades, it might need some thought now, to put into words other than as poems.
My email address: admin[at]callofthepage[dot]org
That's just "org" at the end.
warm regards,
Alan
Thank you. Mine is dvdoates[at]aol[dot]com. Is AOL "retro" yet? :>
I thought AOL was retro way back in the mid-1990s. ;-) Kind of 'steam punk' technology.
Many thanks for your email. :-)
Alan
Thank you, all. I appreciate the insights and reading suggestions. Very happy to have this on “tiny words.”
David O
There is a harsh beauty in this.
marion
I like the use of time and space that's made. It's extremely effective.
Like for instance the first line says "after the protest", which means a lot of time has passed since the protest was going on. As of now the protest is over. So it's a change from what things were to what things are and of course reflects on how things will be in future. Thus both elements are in use "Time and space".
"moonlight on empty", which means it's not that the people have gone away. They are still there on the protest site, however, the day is over. Night is in progress and it continues.
"tear-gas canisters" reflects more of a symbol that it was used during protest to make sure things don't get out of control. As far as negotiation and crowd is concerned it does not come into picture.
Thank you. I appreciate the thought you put into articulating this! Best, David Oates