my spit draws
more minnows


5 Responses

  1. Mike Schoenburg Says:

    Like your minnow reference!

    the tadpole
    swims away
    a frog ?

  2. Pravat Says:

    Interesting haiku, Brad. The poem depicts the sublime sense of loneliness with brevity. Here are some of my haiku on loneliness:

    clatters of sparrow–
    someone still with my

    Chrysanthemum 13, 2013

    temple bell fills
    the vacuum

    A Hundred Gourds, 2:3 June 2013

    wild flower–
    I breathe my

    The Heron’s Nest, Vol.XVI, No.4 December 2014


  3. Magyar Says:

    Nice Brad.
    __ As I see this, minnows are drawn to that lonely ring, and "read" that ring to find results. _m

    a spatter
    this ring on Fresh Pond
    fish read.

  4. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Nature as solace. Very nice, Brad.


  5. Alan Summers Says:

    my spit draws
    more minnows



    This resonated with me so strongly!

    It also reminds me of Hosai Ozaki


    seki o shite mo hitori

    Coughing, even:

    Hosai Ozaki (1885-1926)
    Translation from "Technique used in Modern Japanese Haiku"
    Vocabulary and Structure, Ban’ya NATSUISHI (2015)

    Unusually I started this haiku with a preposition:

    in the river reflection
    he watches himself
    watch the sunset

    Alan Summers
    Haiku Enlightenment, Gabriel Rosenstock Cambridge Scholars Publishing (2009) ISBN (10): 1-4438-0521-1, ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-0521-6;

    Page 54: There is a relaxed feeling of lightness – karumi – in the above haiku, employing everyday syntax and easily recognised imagery. Karumi became Basho’s ideal in the final phase of his development.

    Gabriel Rosenstock
    Haiku Enlightenment Gabriel Rosenstock

    This was a particularly lonely time, and just my reflection kept company.

    Cambridge Scholars Publishing (2009) ISBN (10): 1-4438-0521-1, ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-0521-6

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