Beautiful composition, Anitha. I like the lightness (karumi) of the haiku. I wish to post a stanza from my collection, 'Songs of Love: A Celebration" (Writers Workshop Publication):
You always fear
Perhaps
Someone may hear.
Bangles you arm
To make nearly
No sound.
Eyes you wish to slide,
Else it may ask
For a share
Of your love
Undivided.
.
he holds her hand
a tad longer than needed
bangle seller
—ANITHA VARMA
.
.
Having spent time in India, and recently visiting a souk in Marrakech where just one individual was creepy, I can see this in many ways.
Is it an older man checking for good fortune, or if she is married, or abusing opportunities for touching another person?
It could have been just tactile methods to obtain and secure a sale, or reassurance not necessity understood by the narrator/observer or client/customer. Is the poet the person being retailed?
An intriguing haiku and using musicality that also heightens the tension of the haiku.
It could as easily been:
he holds her hand
longer than needed
bangle seller
But it doesn't ramp up the resonance as much as adding 'a tad':
he holds her hand
a tad longer than needed
bangle seller
This is wonderful! As you can tell by the responses . . .it really resonates! It reminds me of when I used to deliver the mail and "Mr. Z" would grab my hand when I handed him the mail. He was elderly and I didn't want to be rude . . .just started creeping up as quiet and quick as possible to the mail box before he came out! Haha! Thanks for the joy of your haiku!
April 10th, 2018 at 8:49 am
Absolutely a lovely ku, Anitha.
I was smiling for a long time after reading it.
April 10th, 2018 at 8:50 am
Fond of the word ‘tad!’
the tadpole
swims away
a frog 🐸
April 10th, 2018 at 10:18 am
Thanks, Kala.. :)
Thanks for the comment, Mike Schoenberg.
April 11th, 2018 at 4:15 am
I guess this could be seen as flattery or a little creepy, Anitha. Sufficiently open for readers to make up their own minds. Well done. :)
marion
April 12th, 2018 at 7:24 am
Beautiful composition, Anitha. I like the lightness (karumi) of the haiku. I wish to post a stanza from my collection, 'Songs of Love: A Celebration" (Writers Workshop Publication):
You always fear
Perhaps
Someone may hear.
Bangles you arm
To make nearly
No sound.
Eyes you wish to slide,
Else it may ask
For a share
Of your love
Undivided.
April 12th, 2018 at 11:39 am
.
he holds her hand
a tad longer than needed
bangle seller
—ANITHA VARMA
.
.
Having spent time in India, and recently visiting a souk in Marrakech where just one individual was creepy, I can see this in many ways.
Is it an older man checking for good fortune, or if she is married, or abusing opportunities for touching another person?
It could have been just tactile methods to obtain and secure a sale, or reassurance not necessity understood by the narrator/observer or client/customer. Is the poet the person being retailed?
An intriguing haiku and using musicality that also heightens the tension of the haiku.
It could as easily been:
he holds her hand
longer than needed
bangle seller
But it doesn't ramp up the resonance as much as adding 'a tad':
he holds her hand
a tad longer than needed
bangle seller
Great poem!!!
Alan
April 16th, 2018 at 3:56 am
It could be seen as a little creepy, yes, but because of the way it sounds when you read it aloud, for me it comes with a hint of sensuousness.
he holds her hand
a tad longer than needed
bangle seller
Beautifully done, Anitha!
April 19th, 2018 at 3:29 am
Thank you very much, Marion. Yes, this can be read in different ways :)
April 19th, 2018 at 3:30 am
Thank you, Pravat ji
April 19th, 2018 at 3:33 am
Thank you very much, Alan Summers… you have snalysed it so well..:)
April 19th, 2018 at 3:37 am
Thank you, Sanjuktaa.. glad you like it :)
April 26th, 2018 at 5:20 pm
This is wonderful! As you can tell by the responses . . .it really resonates! It reminds me of when I used to deliver the mail and "Mr. Z" would grab my hand when I handed him the mail. He was elderly and I didn't want to be rude . . .just started creeping up as quiet and quick as possible to the mail box before he came out! Haha! Thanks for the joy of your haiku!
May 11th, 2018 at 1:35 am
Thank you very much for your comment, Debbie Feller.. lots of Mr.Zs around :)