As I read this, I see the narrator's gaze shift from the moon to a smooth, round stone he is holding and then to the reflection of the moon in water and finally back to the sky again. Perhaps he is thinking of the differences and similarities between the two; yes they are both round, but the moon is pocked with craters while the stone is smooth.
"deep summer moon" suggests complete immersion in nature, time and space as the narrator reflects on how all things are connected…or perhaps this is just too deep!
August 4th, 2020 at 9:11 am
Very good poem Ben.
August 4th, 2020 at 10:00 am
.
deep summer moon
so smooth
this skipping stone
—BEN GAA
Lovely opening line!
I like the pivot line, it feels it's acting as a hinge for at least three things, not two, which is neat.
****
the long long throw
of a smoothly worn stone,
dying, we live
Alan Summers
First published:
Hedgerow #123 Spring (April) 2018 ed Caroline Skanne
Anthology credit:
All the Way Home: Aging in Haiku (2019) ed. Robert Epstein
Middle Island Press (Oct. 2019)
August 9th, 2020 at 10:27 am
Another unusual haiku with 'smooth' but coins not stones…
smooth coins
how we slip away
into blue velvet
Alan Summers
The Haiku Foundation HAIKU DIALOGUE – a smooth coin
ed. Craig Kittner (February 2019)
August 4th, 2020 at 1:09 pm
Lovely poem! So many worlds together.
Alan, I have a similar one:
choosing flat stones
to skip across the river
beside the cemetery
– Dan Bodah
August 4th, 2020 at 2:11 pm
Ah, yes!
Alan
August 5th, 2020 at 8:18 pm
Evocative and resonant and at this time of covid with these experiences not readily
available right now, especially meaningful
August 7th, 2020 at 1:52 am
As I read this, I see the narrator's gaze shift from the moon to a smooth, round stone he is holding and then to the reflection of the moon in water and finally back to the sky again. Perhaps he is thinking of the differences and similarities between the two; yes they are both round, but the moon is pocked with craters while the stone is smooth.
"deep summer moon" suggests complete immersion in nature, time and space as the narrator reflects on how all things are connected…or perhaps this is just too deep!
An enjoyable haiku in any case. :-)
marion