—Marta Chocilowska
(Originally published in Frogpond vol. 43:3 (fall) 2020)
I can imagine that a hot date developed into physical passion, perhaps hidden by trees, bushes, etc… close enough to a river where boats are moored, and can be heard in the near distance.
Are the two parts of the haiku in the same timeline?
Is this a poem of reminiscence? Perhaps the author was nervous and listening out to sounds in the early stages of their passion, worried about someone or a group stumbling upon them. Perhaps things appeared safe and private and the only noise for a while was the gentle creaking of boats in the near distance, and nothing else, and then the passion fully took over.
Of course post-passion, the author might be more attuned to background noise.
I don't get that that the people were actually in a boat, but close by, near a riverbank perhaps.
January 13th, 2023 at 6:01 am
I love the interplay of juxtaposition, from hot date (various levels) to gentle and creaking of nearby boats. The poem gives and gives and gives.
warm regards,
Alan
January 15th, 2023 at 6:53 am
re:
a hot date
the gentle creaking
of moored boats
—Marta Chocilowska
(Originally published in Frogpond vol. 43:3 (fall) 2020)
I can imagine that a hot date developed into physical passion, perhaps hidden by trees, bushes, etc… close enough to a river where boats are moored, and can be heard in the near distance.
Are the two parts of the haiku in the same timeline?
Is this a poem of reminiscence? Perhaps the author was nervous and listening out to sounds in the early stages of their passion, worried about someone or a group stumbling upon them. Perhaps things appeared safe and private and the only noise for a while was the gentle creaking of boats in the near distance, and nothing else, and then the passion fully took over.
Of course post-passion, the author might be more attuned to background noise.
I don't get that that the people were actually in a boat, but close by, near a riverbank perhaps.
warm regards,
Alan
January 14th, 2023 at 5:13 pm
if it was a hot date
it wouldn't be
gentle creaking
now would it.
February 16th, 2023 at 6:34 am
LOL!