the vast west
railroad cars decouple
in the dark

 


8 Responses

  1. Mojde Says:

    Piercing !!

    will they be back
    east, recoupled
    when sun rises

  2. MaryJo Says:

    I know this site likes replies with small poems but I'm unable to do that. I was hesitant before to write anything–this last season, but I do want to say I think your haiku is really fresh and creative.

  3. Debbie Feller Says:

    Excellent, Jim!

    —-

    dawn finds us
    trembling
    the roar of a train.

  4. Pravat Says:

    An interesting image. The emotion of separation in the vastness reflects the contained space (ma) in this haiku.

    open ground–
    I sit alone as the moon
    moves away

    Pravat Kumar Padhy
    Publication Credit: Chrysanthemum 14, October 2013 (Ed. Beate Conrad)

    *****
    smooth landing
    of the helicopter–
    a kingfisher departs

    Pravat Kumar Padhy
    (from "Atoms of Haiku" Anthology)

    *****

    the rainbow
    slowly disappears
    into the sky
    the stain of separation
    drenches me with tears

    Pravat Kumar Padhy

    Publication Credit: A Hundred Gourds, 4:4 September 2015 (Ed. Susan Constable)
    Portrayed as traditional haiga by Ron Moss

    **** **** ****

  5. Magyar Says:

    this sunset
    a state of decoupling
    far west

  6. Anitha Varma Says:

    I could hear the trains and taste the darkness.. enjoyed!

    Anitha

  7. Alan Summers Says:

    .
    .
    the vast west
    railroad cars decouple
    in the dark

    —JIM KACIAN

    Expansive to individual train cars being decoupled, but in the dark, where sounds may be sharper, even resonant of things in the past, from the Wild Wild West to train disasters in peacetime and in war.
    .
    .
    My father only told me once about the time he picked up pieces of comrades, other soldiers, and civilians, in complete darkness during WWII:

    my father's war
    a story of the dark
    collecting its own

    Alan Summers
    Presence issue #55 (2016)

  8. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    I found this very amusing, Jim, but perhaps that's just my sense of humour! :)

    marion

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