I like this… Your haiku gave me an image of summer’s beauty as well as a sense of personal isolation (the shade being in someone else’s yard), but I can also see how it could emphasize the connection between all people (you joined to your neighbor by the shade of the tree), and perhaps even the union between people and nature. Or a commentary on the unifying power of nature. Whew, that was a mouthful! ;) Anyway,a good poem. Thank you.
I like this… Your haiku gave me an image of summer’s beauty as well as a sense of personal isolation (the shade being in someone else’s yard), but I can also see how it could emphasize the connection between all people (you joined to your neighbor by the shade of the tree), and perhaps even the union between people and nature. Or a commentary on the unifying power of nature. Whew, that was a mouthful! ;) Anyway,a good poem. Thank you.
possibilities
i’ll do “my” remake, first.
sunny afternoon
my pear tree’s shades…(if we’re sharing)
neighbor’s yard
“warm” doesn’t automatically transition to “shade”
well, “i think” the remake speaks for itself.
less at times, best…
Hi Sandy – here’s my offer
Pears warmed
by afternoon sun
cool shade
rain
the neighbour’s boy
collects only the clothes he could reach
summer afternoon –
open fridge door
mango fragrance wafts cross the room
–
Against the evening
the shadow of a tree crossing
the borderline
hot aroma of my neighbor’s
evening meal —
comes through my window
–