traffic jam —
from everywhere the snow
heading nowhere

10 Responses

  1. syllable?17 Says:

    The road to nowhere indeed, Helga H?rle – perhaps stuck forever, beyond nowhere’s great rainbow, as (the other) Dylan once, famously, remarked. Nice job.

    green traffic lights
    an urban night with neon
    in the driving snow

    ? s?17

  2. Alan Summers Says:

    Good atmospheric haiku, but please no more snow.

    But enjoyed this one! ;-)

    Alan Summers

  3. syllable?17 Says:

    Without the snow, in this excellent urban haiku, Alan Summers, it would not work as a bleak wintery allusion to the world as we currently find it. Icicles could substitute in an SFku version maybe – you know, on another planet? Brr…

  4. Alison Hedlund Says:

    Everywhere/nowhere–a wonderful juxtaposition! Magical haiku. Glad you are still alive to tell the tale.

  5. syllable?17 Says:

    red traffic lights
    the cars wait
    not so the snow


  6. sandra Says:

    I think Alan’s comment, syllable, was a general “I do wish winter would end” kind of thing after the Northern Hemipshere’s tough season, not a comment on the use of snow in haiku or, indeed, this haiku, which is very fine.

  7. syllable?17 Says:

    Yes, sandra, the snow is very much a part of the existential noir of Helga H?rle’s good ku. Rain, or hail even, would have much less delivery impact.

    orange traffic lights
    only the snow
    takes a chance

    ? s?17

  8. Alan Summers Says:

    Thanks Sandra! ;-)

    Yes, I meant no more snow here in England, or even elsewhere where it’s only seasonal. ;-)

    Mind you, without the ‘snow’ in the haiku it becomes a neat senryu:

    traffic jam ?
    from everywhere
    the heading nowhere

    Good snow haiku and good snowless senryu. ;-)


  9. syllable?17 Says:

    Yes, Alan Summers, without the snow an otherwise excellent haiku would become an oft said, and somewhat banal, modernist rhetoric. A clich?. In truth, this is where clockwork mind, so ubiquitously unknowingly, can obfuscate. In this case, quite an effective dystopian vision.

    garden of snowballs
    all melted reveal the shock
    poor squashed flowers!

    ? s?17

  10. martin1223 Says:

    the traffic jam

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