traffic jam —
from everywhere the snow
heading nowhere
Published by
Helga H?rle
Helga H?rle is a Swedish poet and creative writing teacher, enjoying haiku as a way of tracing the moment...and sharing it. Some of her English haiku were published in magazines like the Heron's Nest, Frogpond and Acorn to mention a few; some of her Swedish in various Swedish mags and anthologies. In 2011 a trilingual collection of her poems was published by t'schrijverke (http://haikuschrijverke.nl/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=147:de-bal-rolt-verder&catid=28&Itemid=57) View all posts by Helga H?rle
The road to nowhere indeed, Helga H?rle – perhaps stuck forever, beyond nowhere’s great rainbow, as (the other) Dylan once, famously, remarked. Nice job.
green traffic lights
an urban night with neon
in the driving snow
? s?17
Good atmospheric haiku, but please no more snow.
But enjoyed this one! ;-)
Alan Summers
Without the snow, in this excellent urban haiku, Alan Summers, it would not work as a bleak wintery allusion to the world as we currently find it. Icicles could substitute in an SFku version maybe – you know, on another planet? Brr…
Everywhere/nowhere–a wonderful juxtaposition! Magical haiku. Glad you are still alive to tell the tale.
red traffic lights
the cars wait
not so the snow
:)
I think Alan’s comment, syllable, was a general “I do wish winter would end” kind of thing after the Northern Hemipshere’s tough season, not a comment on the use of snow in haiku or, indeed, this haiku, which is very fine.
Yes, sandra, the snow is very much a part of the existential noir of Helga H?rle’s good ku. Rain, or hail even, would have much less delivery impact.
orange traffic lights
only the snow
takes a chance
? s?17
Thanks Sandra! ;-)
Yes, I meant no more snow here in England, or even elsewhere where it’s only seasonal. ;-)
Mind you, without the ‘snow’ in the haiku it becomes a neat senryu:
traffic jam ?
from everywhere
the heading nowhere
Good snow haiku and good snowless senryu. ;-)
Alan
Yes, Alan Summers, without the snow an otherwise excellent haiku would become an oft said, and somewhat banal, modernist rhetoric. A clich?. In truth, this is where clockwork mind, so ubiquitously unknowingly, can obfuscate. In this case, quite an effective dystopian vision.
garden of snowballs
all melted reveal the shock
poor squashed flowers!
? s?17
snowfall
the traffic jam
whitens